No Light, No Light
by WalkingWit
Summary: Songfic to a Florence   the Machine song. It's a dark, twisted game they play. She knows he'll be back. He always returns to  her hovel, where they attack each other and fall into bed. Hatred to love, darkness to light. Warning for violence. AU Season 4.
1. Chapter 1

**Another Merlin fic! Song fic to the Florence + the Machine song, 'No Light, No Light'. I'm thinking of writing a series of one-shots to Florence songs since I feel like it fits the show perfectly.**

**AU Season 4  
><strong>

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><p><strong>No Light, No Light<strong>

_You are the hole in my head_  
><em>You are the space in my bed<em>  
><em>You are the silence in between<em>  
><em>What I thought and what I said<em>

The witch's green eyes snapped open. She sat up, feeling the empty space beside her. It was cool to the touch. He must have left quite a while ago. She brought her fingers to her lips, wondering if it were all a dream. That he wasn't really there at all. Her fingers slid to her pale neck. She was sure there would be marks in the morning. She closed her eyes, remembering his hands wrapped around her throat, ready to kill her. But then, he didn't. He never could bring himself to do so.

She got out of her bed, shrugging into her tattered dressing gown. Her trusted dagger sat on the table in the hovel. She remembered the cuts she had inflicted on his pale, luminous skin.

_You are the night-time fear_  
><em>You are the morning when it's clear<em>  
><em>When it's over your start<em>

_You're my head_  
><em>You're my heart<em>

It had started when she had captured him, to get him to kill Arthur. He had failed to do so, and he came back, furious. She recalled the pain and anger in his voice, the way his bright blue eyes narrowed at her.

"We were friends, Morgana," he said pitifully, wondering if there was any way to save her.

"That was a long time ago," her voice trembled. He had tried to poison her. She tried to kill him.

She did intend to kill him. The dagger was in her hand, magic be damned. Without warning, he had snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her close into a kiss. Her traitorous lips had responded eagerly, letting out a sound of pleasure without her permission. Feelings long repressed, from when he had first come to Camelot, bubbled to the surface. She tried to fight it, but it was like he had a hold over her.

_No light, no light in your bright blue eyes_  
><em>I never knew daylight could be so violent<em>  
><em>A revelation in the light of day<em>

After their complete loss of sanity (because that's what it must have been), he left her, disgust clear on his face. Disgusted with himself, disgusted with her. He felt so dirty, so wrong. Yet he came back. Merlin tried to reason with her, and she summoned every belonging she owned, smashing it on him. Vases, chairs, tables, all hit him, crashing and breaking apart. When he was a heap on the floor, some unknown, repressed emotion would overcome her senses, and she knelt beside him, digging him out. She cradled his head in her lap, healing him because she didn't want to see him hurt for very long.

"Why don't you kill me and get it over with?" he spat at her once.

"You won't rid of me that easily," she replied, stroking his hair. His cheek, his jaw, before kissing him.

_You can choose what stays and what fades away_  
><em>And I'd do anything to make you stay<em>

They'd lay on her bed, bodies entwined. She could hear his heartbeat, and it soothed her. She dragged her fingers across his chest, knowing her scratches would leave scars. It was her way of leaving her mark on him, so no one else would touch him. He was rough with her, sometimes. She could have never imagined him to be so forceful, when he was the kindest of them all. She enjoyed the rough stubble of his cheek on her skin as he kissed her lips, her neck, her chest, and lower still. She liked how he wasn't afraid to bite her, or scratch like she did to him. She hated the effect he had on her, and loved it all the same.

That first night, he put his trousers on, then his shirt. She remained in bed, watching him leave.

"Stay," she said. It wasn't a request, or a demand.

"I'll come back," he promised, not looking at her as he left.

She watched as the door slammed and she could feel her heart clench. She would not let herself cry over a simple manservant, a peasant, and the enemy. She was far too good for that. She would not beg.

_No light, no light_  
><em>No light<br>_

She had gone out to collect herbs during the day, and at nightfall when she returned, she found a bouquet of wild flowers, held together with the ripped cloth of a red neckerchief. She tried not to smile, but she couldn't help it. There was no light inside her hovel, not even a candle burned, but he was there. She could see his blue eyes in the dark, and she went to him._  
><em>

_Tell me what you want me to say_  
><em>Through the crowded islands<em>  
><em>Crying out at me<em>  
><em>In your place there were a thousand other faces<em>

She hated him. She was angry at him. So he was Emrys. No wonder she felt like she knew who the old man was. She threw him a dirty look and aimed her dagger right at his throat. His eyes flashed gold and it spun around, heading right toward _her_ throat.

"You lied to me," she snarled, knocking him back with a spell.

"We lied to each other," he stood shakily, throwing her against the wall.

This would have been the point at which he would have scooped her up and dropped her on her bed, him on top of her. Instead, he left without another word. She wrapped her arms around her knees, huddled next to the wall. How had this happened?

_I will disappear in plain sight_  
><em>Heaven help me<em>  
><em>I need to make it right<em>  
><em>You are the revelation<em>  
><em>You are to get it right<em>  
><em>And it's a conversation<em>  
><em>I just can't have tonight<em>

She wasn't there when he returned to the hovel the following night. He sat on her bed and waited, fists clenched. She had tried to kill Arthur (again), but he knew it was more jab at himself than actually wanting the king dead (this time, anyway).

She returned, stunned to see him there. She walked up to him, lifting him off the bed with magic and hitting him across the face. She punched him in the gut before he wound his hand around the back of her head, pulling at her hair, bringing her flush against him. She banged her fists against his chest in a weak attempt to break free. She didn't want to break free. Instead she let him capture her mouth with his. She clawed at his shirt, deeming it unnecessary.

_You want a revelation_  
><em>Some kind of revolution<em>  
><em>You are the revelation<em>

"This is madness, Morgana. Just forget about trying to take over Camelot," he tried to reason with her, to get her to go back to the way she was. The Lady Morgana: the kind, spirited ward of King Uther.

She'd never go back to that.

"Don't you understand?" she laughed bitterly, "Uther killed our kind, Merlin. You should be on my side, not _his_."

She nearly spat out the last word. She wanted nothing more that for him to be by her side when she became Queen. She'd make him King, and under their leadership magic would flourish. It was a beautiful fantasy world she lived in. She sat up in bed, pulling the blanket to her chest. He sat up alongside her, deep in thought.

"No. My destiny is Arthur and Albion," he said firmly.

"To hell with destiny," she snarled, tugging his hair. She straddled him, running her hands across his chest. Electricity shocked him and he groaned. Her hands ran further down his body, and his eyes widened. He sat up hurriedly, pressing his weight onto her.

_No light, no light in your bright blue eyes_  
><em>I never knew daylight could be so violent<em>  
><em>A revelation in the light of day<em>

He visited her during the day once. She was outside, gathering ingredients for a potion to make him stay. He found her, and she noticed his eyes lacked the kind brightness they once had. Instead they were dark and a line ran across his brow.

"You turned Gwen into a deer?" he snarled.

Morgana smirked, "It was just a bit of fun."

"I understand you wanting the crown, but Gwen has done nothing to you. She could've died!" his hands were around her neck, threatening to choke her to death.

"She chose Arthur over me. Just like you have," she wheezed. Gwen, once her closest friend, had left her for Arthur. It was too much.

His grip loosened at her words and her genuinely hurt expression. She thought she could see his eyes return to their normal shade. His hands slid to her shoulders and she backed up against the tree. The bark rubbed against her dress, piercing her back as his hips moved against hers. His hands tore at the bodice of her dress, and she shivered.

_You can choose what stays and what fades away_  
><em>And I'd do anything to make you stay<em>

He left her in the forest. She had collected her clothing with as much dignity as she could. He didn't return for days and she plotted revenge. It was what she did best, after all. The potion was made. He'd be under her control for the rest of eternity.

_No light, no light_  
><em>No light<em>

He was asleep when she slipped him the potion. Merlin tended to sleep with his mouth open, and she took advantage of this. Satisfied, she lay down next to him. In her dreams she saw a battle, with the old Merlin glaring at her behind his beard. No. It was all wrong. He was supposed to love her, now. She woke up, familiar words ringing in her head.

'He is your destiny, and he is your doom.'

Similarly, Merlin dreamed of Kilgarrah's warning, 'She is the darkness to your light. The hatred to your love.'

_Tell me what you want me to say_  
><em>But would you leave me,<em>  
><em>If I told you what I've done<em>

The potion had worked. For now, at least. Merlin kept up pretenses of being a trusted friend of Arthur's but he still spent his nights at Morgana's. He kissed her shoulder gently, caressing her sides. He spoke of plans to thwart the king and to overthrow Camelot with such conviction (yet still so _Merlin_) that Morgana wondered if it was the potion talking or him.

"I love you," he whispered.

She smiled and tried to fight back the tears. He would hate her and abandon her if he found out what she had done. That she'd forced him into loving her. She wished he'd love her so much that the potion wasn't necessary._  
><em>

_And would you leave me_  
><em>If I told you what I've become<em>  
><em>'Cause it's so easy,<em>  
><em>To sing it to a crowd<em>  
><em>But it's so hard, my love<em>  
><em>To say it to you, all alone<em>

The potion wore off. He found out. He was in a rage. They attacked each other with all their might. His lip was bleeding, clothes tattered. She clutched her arm, heaving.

He looked at her with disdain and hurt flashed across his face.

"You didn't need a potion to make me love you."

He left and the meaning of his words hit her like a ton of bricks. He loved her anyways. He couldn't admit his love, and neither could she. She slipped onto the dusty floor, looking around at the mess they made. What had become of her? What had become of _them_? Had she turned Merlin into this mad man?

_No light, no light in your bright blue eyes_  
><em>I never knew daylight could be so violent<em>

He didn't come back. Not the next day, nor the day after. Morgana supposed it was for the better. He would go back to being Merlin and helping the king, while she would go back to being the evil witch hell-bent on the capturing the throne. Sometimes, she forgot why she even wanted to rule Camelot.

The she remembered her father's (Goloris's) death. The lies Uther told her. The innocent people slaughtered due to the purge. Merlin's betrayal. The last one hardened her heart the most, and she decided not loving was better than loving and being hurt.

_A revelation in the light of day,_  
><em>You can choose what stays and what fades away<em>  
><em>And I'd do anything to make you stay<em>

_No light, no light_  
><em>No light<em>

He slipped into her hovel one night. He watched her sleep and stepped closer. He wiped the lone tear from his face and stroked her cheek with tender fingers. He had to kill her now before it was too late. She couldn't destroy Camelot. Merlin wanted to curse destiny and let her live, but her very being threatened Camelot's existence.

He placed his hand on her heart and closed his eyes. He couldn't bring himself to say the words.

She sat up suddenly, green eyes wide and frightened._  
><em>

_Tell me what you want me to say_  
><em>You are the revelation<em>  
><em>You are to get it right<em>  
><em>But, it's a conversation<em>  
><em>I just can't have tonight<em>  
><em>You are the revelation<em>  
><em>Some kind of resolution.<em>

"Merlin," the moonlight illuminated her porcelain skin, tears flowing freely.

"I'm so sorry," he said, looking quite lost.

"Please, Merlin," she whispered.

He was taken back to when he had poisoned her, and his heart blanched. Was he really such a monster?

She got out of the bed and hugged him tightly. He hugged back, holding her to him as close as he could. He buried his head in her hair and she started to sob. Her hands reached for her dagger, and she left his grasp, holding it to his neck.

"This ends now, Merlin," she said in a deadly quiet voice.

His eyes glowed as she was knocked back onto the bed. He bent over her, hands around her neck as his eyes glowed a brighter gold. She fought to break free, but his magic was overpowering her. Her breath quickened, chest heaving. She reached to stop him, to apologise, but the words couldn't get through.

He moved his hands to her wrists. He lifted them over her head, binding them with magic. He kissed her roughly, straddling her. His rough trousers rubbed against the softness of her nightdress familiarly. She gasped, dagger still clutched in her hands. He plucked the dagger from her, running it along her gauzy nightdress lightly. He pierced it into the thin fabric, tearing it at the front.

"Merlin," she moaned airily. She dissolved the bindings with magic and touched his face. He kissed her again and she rolled on top of him. She grabbed the dagger and grinned.

She pushed him down, holding the dagger over him. She cut away at his clothing, leaving marks on his white chest.

"Now we're even," she decided, kissing his neck.

She was cuddled against him, head resting on his chest.

"We can't do this anymore," he said, rubbing her hand with his thumb, "It's just twisted."

Morgana remained silent and avoided his eyes.

_You are the revelation._  
><em>You are the revelation<em>  
><em>You are to get it right.<em>

He didn't kill her while she slept. Instead he had stolen away in the middle of the night. His side of the bed (because this had been going on for so long, he had a side, now) was cold when she woke up. She gingerly touched her neck, knowing his fingerprints would be there. He had said that this would have to stop. No more secret meetings and trysts.

_But, it's a conversation,_  
><em>I just can't have tonight.<em>  
><em>You are the revelation<em>  
><em>Some kind of revolution<em>  
><em>Tell me what you want me to say<em>

She knew he'd be back. He always was. It was only a matter of time before he'd walk through that door, ready to kill her. Instead, they'd make love and feel awful about themselves, cursing destiny and prophesies. Until then, she'd wait for him. He'd end up being her king, whether they were the royals of Camelot, or the royals of her lovely hovel.

She smiled as she saw a fresh bouquet of flowers, wrapped in his neckerchief. Oh yes. He'd be back.

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><p><strong>This is quite possibly the most dark and twisted story I've ever written. Then again, it's Mergana, so what else could it be? I'd greatly appreciate your feed back. Thank you.<strong>


	2. Howl

**Another Merlin fic! Song fic to the Florence + the Machine song, 'Howl'. This is a continuation of 'No Light, No Light'. **

**I've posted this separately, but I've also posted it as another chapter of 'No Light, No Light'.  
><strong>

**Spoilers for the finale of season 4.**

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><p><strong>Howl<br>**

_If you could only see the beast you've made of me  
>I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free<br>Screaming in the dark, I howl when we're apart  
>drag my teeth across your chest to taste your beating heart<em>

She had been right when she knew that Merlin would return to her-he always did. She had placed the flowers, wrapped in his neckerchief, in a vase she had stolen. Even now after another thwarted attempt at overthrowing Camelot, he'd come back. She smirked as she remembered how he'd stolen her magic. Oh, she knew.

It was a twisted game they'd play, and it took all of her self-restraint not to attack him then and there, taking him in the middle of the throne room as he took her every night.

But no. He still remained loyal to her loving _brother_. Her smirk turned into a frown and she glared at the flowers, wilting them so that they matched her heart.

She knew in her head that they could never be, but her heart said otherwise. She'd stopped listening to her heart long ago in all areas of her life-except for him. Why he didn't just kill her when he knocked her back, she'd never know.

He took her to the woods, presumably leaving her for dead. But the Aithusa had turned up and brought her back to life. She knew in her heart that Merlin had sent the dragon, even if he wouldn't admit it. He hadn't been around in what felt like a year, but she still waited.

His side of the bed remained untouched. Sometimes she'd wake, thinking that he'd returned to her, only to feel the cold side of the bed and cry, scream, rage, and destroy her little house.

_My fingers claw your skin, try to tear my way in  
>You are the moon that breaks the night for which I have to howl<br>My fingers claw your skin, try to tear my way in  
>You are the moon that breaks the night for which I have to<em>

She returned to her hovel, truly alone. He didn't return for days and she thought he must have finally made up his mind. That is, until he knocked down the door one evening.

"Hello, Merlin," she greeted as if it were a normal occurrence, him destroying her property. (Well, it was.)

He said nothing as he stalked up to her, taking her wrists in anger, "So this is how you repay me?"

She smirked, satisfied that her little stunt of blasting away the knights had caught his attention. If he wouldn't come to her willingly, she'd force him to come to her in anger.

"I saved your life how many times now?" he released her hands, instead shaking her by the shoulders. His fingers dug into her bare flesh, marking her skin.

Her green eyes narrowed and she kicked him in the knee, escaping his grasp.

"You're the one who poisoned me," she spat, crossing her arms.

He raised his arms into the air, exasperated.

"We've had this conversation before. I thought you were the source!"

"That doesn't absolve you of your sins, Merlin. Don't act so high and mighty," she glared, "if you'd only told the truth from the beginning..."

"What? I'd be on your side?" Merlin laughed, "I'd never be on your side, Morgana."

She tilted her head defiantly, "Then leave."

He remained rooted in his spot, unable to move. He couldn't leave her, no matter how twisted their situation was.

"You're such a hypocrite," she snarled, striking him across the cheek. A red mark remained in the shape of her hand.

His usually kind blue eyes narrowed darkly, clouded with anger. He grabbed her by the arm roughly, pushing her against the wall. His lips captured hers and she let out a protest. He quieted her by biting her lips, drawing blood. Her hands raked across his back, to his neck, scratching his cheek. His hands worked their way through her dark, tangled hair, down her back. She bit his neck, fingers tearing his shirt. Her nails dragged down his chest, creating new scratches to join his old scars. He moved his hand under her dress. She moved to her bed, smirking.

_Howl, howl_  
><em> Howl, howl<em>

She screamed his name, as she'd done many times before. When it was all over, he dressed quietly, quickly. He always felt so ashamed afterwards, hurting a woman, hurting _Morgana_, like that.

Morgana stood, blanket draped around her. It wasn't like she didn't inflict any harm on him at all. In all actuality, she was a bit more forceful.

His cheek was dripping with blood, as was her bruised lip. He sent her one last look before leaving. The door swung shut and Morgana's shoulder shook with repressed sobs.

_And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat _  
><em> I tried to find the sound <em>  
><em> But then, it stopped, and I was in the darkness, <em>  
><em> So darkness I became <em>

Weeks went by without him returning. She had been plotting more revenge still. Merlin distracted her from her plans, as much as she hated to admit. At least with him not around, she could think of more ways to take over Camelot and force him by her side.

It nearly drove her mad. Everywhere she looked, she could see and hear him. It would be better for her to forget about the man and close her heart off completely. After all, the thing they were best at was hurting each other.

She was in the woods, collecting firewood so she could prepare dinner. No more did she have the perks of being Camelot's princess. Her pretty dresses were replaced by black or gray ones. Her once perfectly groomed hair was now a tangled mess of curls with green string tied around a few strands. Her healthy complexion was now pale and sickly.

She heard a crunch of the leaves behind her and turned around, instinctively knocking the intruder back so that he hit a tree. She gasped when she saw that it'd been Merlin who she had rendered unconscious. Firewood forgotten, she levitated him back into her hovel.

She placed him down on her bed, on what had become his side. She touched his head gingerly, blood on her pale fingers. She bit back a cry and set to work to heal him. Herbs, remedies, potions, and a cloth wrapped around his head. She lay down next to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. If she just closed her eyes, she could pretend they were back in Camelot when she was the Lady and he was the bumbling, adorable servant. Back when the pair of them were innocent, and not the deranged, dark creatures they'd become.

_And howl, howl  
>Howl, howl<em>

_Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers_  
><em>Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters<em>  
><em>Hunters, hunters, hunters<em>  
><em>Hunters, hunters, hunters<em>

He had admitted he loved her once, without saying the words. She didn't dare believe him. Nor did she believe her own heart. Here in the darkness she could pretend. She could pretend that their destinies were not pitted against each other. That they could hide away somewhere safe and just be together. No pretenses, no fighting. It was a fine fantasy she had.

It was so dark outside that she wondered if the stars had disappeared, along with the moon. She let the darkness overcome her, leading her to sleep.

As she slept she dreamed. Morgana dreamed of a beautiful island. It was neither dawn, nor day, but twilight perpetually.

_The fabric of your flesh, pure as a wedding dress  
>Until I wrap myself inside your arms I cannot rest<br>The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound  
>I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallow'd ground<em>

The sand felt like real sand, the grass like real grass. Fruit trees dotted the scenery, and she looked around in confusion. She looked down, noticing she wore a dress fit for a princess. She reached up and felt a dainty crown made of flowers on her long, flowing hair. She smiled softly, feeling at peace for the first time in months, years, even. She let her magic course through her, sparks igniting at her fingertips. Next to the waiting water, she saw a man.

Her bare feet took her there without her even thinking. Merlin wore clothes of the nobility, and he smiled at her.

"How can we be having the same dream?" she murmured. He took her hand gently. It was nothing like how he did in their every day lives.

"We're linked, Morgana. Forever," Merlin's eyes were the blue she remembered. Bright, kind, and no longer violent.

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, and this time, there was no dagger. No binding each other, or tormenting each other. His touch made her relax and she knew where they were. Avalon. Their minds had transported them here so they could be together without pretense, without trying to kill the other.

Sweet, slow, and gentle. Morgana couldn't help but think that this is what their relationship could have been like had it not been for Uther's tyranny or Merlin's lies about his own magic. Before it was anger, lust and attraction bringing them together. Now it was affectionate attraction and love. She much preferred this.

His hand caressed her side and she sighed.

"I wish we could just stay here," he said quietly.

She looked at him curiously.

"Away from destiny, away from the prat of a king, everything," he continued.

Morgana laughed lightly, "What'd he do now?"

"I told him about my magic," he admitted.

She sat up, eyes widening in shock. Tears filled her eyes and her hand covered her mouth. She didn't know this feeling. Actually, she did. Betrayal.

"So you told him, but I had to find out about it?" she lashed out at him, hitting his chest feebly.

"Not now, Morgana. Not here. No more fighting," he pleaded with her, "Please."

"What did he do?" she asked with a hiccup.

"I was banished," he sounded bitter. Morgana knew just how he felt.

"At least he didn't condemn you to a slow and painful death," she snarked bitterly.

Now she knew why he was in the woods.

"Were you on your way back to Ealdor? she asked, realising this was the least violent and most normal conversation they had in ages.

He shook his head, "I was coming to see you."

_Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers  
>Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters<br>A man who's pure of heart and says his prayers by night  
>May still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright<em>

Merlin was sick of it all. He had to be Arthur's servant and follow orders, being the nicest lad in Camelot. He could only bear being called a fool for so long, he had finally snapped. Admitted the truth. Arthur had the audacity to laugh, until Merlin set the candles alight with a mere glance. His so-called benevolent king had banished him without a second thought. He hadn't told him of his dalliances (fine, affair) with Morgana. He should've. She was the one person he didn't have to pretend with. It gave him sick pleasure to think about Arthur's reaction had he admitted the, er, nighttime activities, he'd been in with the king's sister.

There was something about her that made him come back, night after night (and sometimes during the day). He didn't have to hide or dance around anything. Blunt, to the point. She understood him, even though they were supposed to be mortal enemies. As of now, to hell with destiny and Kilgarrah's prophecy. He spit upon it. That damn prophecy ruined his life.

So he'd gone to Morgana.

_If you could only see the beast you've made of me_  
><em> I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free<em>  
><em> The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound<em>  
><em> I hunt for you with bloody feet across the hallow'd ground<em>

When she woke up, she was surprised to find him still there. He tended to leave while she slept so as not to start another fight. He was sitting up, her head resting on his chest. He played with her hair gingerly. She looked around to see if they were still in Avalon, but they were in her dumpy hovel.

He kissed her softly, tracing the fingerprints he'd left on her hips.

"What does all this mean?" she asked.

"I was hoping it means you'll let me stay," he admitted.

She nodded, a smile gracing her features. She'd drawn him into her world of darkness and maybe, just maybe, he'd help her bring about the downfall of Camelot. She had to admit they'd make a pretty pair as king and queen.

His arms settled around her waist and he closed his eyes, finally feeling serene. She bit her lip to keep in her tears. This is what she wanted-for him to be on her side. For Arthur to screw up so badly that Merlin would never return to his side ever again. Yet why did she have the sinking feeling that Merlin would return to Camelot if Arthur simply apologised? She feared that he'd leave her for good and return to his hatred, only to return and fight with her, leaving her in the middle of the night, cold and alone.

She sat up in his arms, making him open her eyes. She grabbed the back of his neck, kissing him tenderly. He reciprocated, settling himself on top of her. No spells, no weapons, just them.

Merlin was hers to keep. Arthur could only have him back over her dead body.

* * *

><p><strong>The end (for now). Again, pretty dark, but I think this ended on a slightly less depressing note than 'No Light, No Light'.<strong>

** If you have any Florence + Machine song suggestions for another continuation, let me know.**

**Please review and leave feedback!  
><strong>


	3. I'm Not Calling You a Liar

**Continuation of No Light, No Light. A bit of Arthur in this one. Seems he's got a bit of a man-crush, doesn't it? **

**This ended up a lot less dirty than I intended it to, for a good reason, I'm hoping. If anyone wants to read the original, dirty, nitty-gritty of all three chapters, I could repost with the sex scenes there. If no one wants it, then this shall remain as is.  
><strong>

**This is also a Florence and the Machine Song, from the album Lungs.**

**Enjoy! **

* * *

><p><strong>I'm Not Calling You a Liar<br>**

_I'm not calling you a liar, just don't lie to me_  
><em> I'm not calling you a thief, just don't steal from me<em>  
><em> I'm not calling you a ghost, just stop haunting me<em>  
><em> And I love you so much, I'm gonna let you kill me<em>

King Arthur had lost everything. His sister, his father, his uncle, and now his best friend. His only comfort was his Queen being at his side, but even she had betrayed him once. His sister had turned to magic, driving their father insane. Magic had killed him.

To find out his best friend and servant had been magical all along felt like a dagger had been lunged into his heart, twisting it until he died from anguish. Merlin had admitted his powers, frustrated at being called a fool. Well, he'd proved him wrong. Arthur was the fool. He had been lied to his entire life, and he was sick of it. With Merlin banished, he couldn't help but worry for his well being. Gwaine had told him off, and left. No longer a knight of Camelot. He scowled, wondering why so many people were willing to show their allegiance to the sorcerer. Even Guinevere told him he should be more rational and to go find him.

But what killed him most was the fact that it'd been rumoured that Merlin and Morgana, once his sister and friend, had been having an affair since before he became king. Back when she'd gone on her mad dash for revenge and Merlin had somehow helped her kill Uther because he loved her. And love made people do strange things.

Had this affair happened when Merlin first came to Camelot, he would have understood. Morgana was pretty and kind and Merlin a bumbling, innocent boy. How they'd both fooled him. He should've suspected something when he found out the pair of them had conspired together to save the Druid boy before asking for his help. Now their hearts were both black with magic and hatred. He wondered if he could've done anything different. If he'd stood up to Uther more, if he'd been more understanding of them, tried to help them so they wouldn't betray him out of fear. It was too late now. He'd never get them back.

He couldn't pass by where his sister's chambers once were without seeing the both of them there. Wondering if she'd hidden him behind her screen door whenever anyone came in. Wondering if he'd snuck into the castle at night (magically, of course) and spent the night with her. Wondering if Guinevere had ever walked in on the pair of them in bed, but promised to keep their secret.

Yet he couldn't help but worry about him when he heard from Gaius that he'd not gone back to Ealdor.

_ There's a ghost in my lungs and it sighs in my sleep_  
><em> Wraps itself around my tongue as it softly speaks<em>  
><em> Then it walks, then it walks with my legs<em>  
><em> To fall, to fall, to fall at your feet<em>

She held the dagger tight in her hand, not allowing it to slip from her grasp. Merlin panted heavily. Pots and vases had been shattered into pieces on the ground of the hovel. His shirt was torn, fresh scratches joining old scars. Her lips were puffy and red, wearing only a flimsy nightdress in the early hours of morning. Daylight began to stream through the filthy window, illuminating them.

She'd woken up from a nightmare.

"You're going to leave me, for _him_!" she cried, tears streaking her face. She'd had a dream, a vision, of Merlin returning to Camelot and being her demise. The entire town had gone up in flames, her doing, really, but the old man staring at her as she died, holding her in his arms, destroyed her.

"I am not going to leave you!" Merlin shouted back.

"But it's your destiny. Unite the lands, kiss up to Arthur," she yelled, venom in her tone.

"Screw destiny," Merlin said roughly, "I've been tricked and abused and made into a murderer. I won't have it any longer," he finished.

Morgana grinned. He'd finally seen her way. She could prevent him from going back to Arthur's side. He grabbed her elbow, bringing him closer to her.

"Why can't we just be, Morgana? Why do you want to take the throne so badly?" he heaved.

She shook her head in disbelief, "Still protecting the King, are we?"

Morgana pushed him away and threw the dagger at him. He waved his hand, making it fall aside on the floor. She glared at him, eyes threatening to turn gold.

"Imagine it, Merlin," she stepped closer to him, hand running along his chin, "Merlin, King of Camelot. And I your Queen. And Arthur your manservant to demean just as he did to you."

As she spoke, her hands trailed down to his chest, his stomach, and to the belt of his trousers.

She felt a great deal of satisfaction as she saw his eyes darken and a smirk ghost across his lips. She knew he liked the idea just as much as she did. Glistening crowns atop their dark locks, subjects adoring them because they would bring magic back to Camelot. He shook his head suddenly, gripping her shoulders.

"We don't need to get revenge. Don't you want to start over somewhere else? In a nice cottage, far away from Camelot. Dark haired, green eyed children running around in a yard?" he said.

Her glare softened, "Blue eyes. I'd want them to have your eyes."

Merlin smiled like an idiot and enveloped her into a hug. Her arms wrapped around him, destruction forgotten.

"Forget the anger and revenge. The violence. It's just us, love," he whispered into her ear and she thought her heart must have stopped.

"Okay," she whispered.

He kissed her and her knees went weak just as they did every time.

_There but for the grace of God go I_  
><em> And when you kiss me, I am happy enough to die<em>

She'd asked him to kill her, once. To put her out of her misery. They'd been fighting. He took the dagger she'd been holding to her own neck and refused.

She ran, barefoot in the woods to the river. She nearly tripped over a twig as she looked back to see Merlin chasing after her.

She skidded to a stop at the edge of the water. With one last look at her love, she jumped in. She closed her eyes, willing to die. But she didn't, because a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her onto the leafy ground. He checked for a pulse, panicking. His hands rested over her heart as he brought the words of the Old Religion in an attempt to save her.

"Morgana," he cried.

Why did the people he loved most seem to always die? Was he cursed?

She opened her eyes slowly, green meeting blue. He hugged her to his chest, relieved.

"Never do that again," he murmured pleading.

"I won't," she promised.

He kissed her softly, and she surely felt the fool for trying to kill herself.

He scooped her up in his arms and walked back to her, their, hovel. He placed her on their bed and held her, not letting her out of his sight.

That's why they could never kill each other. They could maul each other, make each other bleed and shout in pain and pleasure, but neither could kill the other.

_I'm not calling you a liar, just don't lie to me_  
><em> And I love you so much, I'm gonna let you<em>  
><em> I'm not calling you a thief, just don't<em>  
><em> And I love you so much, I'm gonna let you<em>  
><em> I'm not calling you a ghost, just stop<em>

The golden haired king didn't know what had possessed him to travel the distance to the hovel his sister called home, especially so early in the morning, but he had to see if Merlin was there. To confirm his suspicions. He'd left a sleeping Guinevere, taking his horse from the stables. He needed to do this.

He heard shouting and peered through the window to discover a half-dressed Morgana brandishing a dagger, aimed at Merlin. His shirt was tattered, and he was bleeding. Her arms had scratches as well.

For a moment, he felt relieved. It was obvious: Morgana had kidnapped him, and now he was trying to escape.

"Still protecting the king, are we?" she spat loudly.

He flinched at the disgust in her voice as she threw the dagger at Merlin. He waved his hand and it fell aside. Arthur couldn't stop the giddy feeling overcoming him. Merlin was still loyal to him. He still cared. But then she sauntered up to him, stroking his chin and jaw. She murmured something, and Arthur's heart quickened to see Merlin's eyes darken as Morgana's had. He spoke quietly, and Arthur strained to hear. His eyes widened as Morgana hugged him, and Merlin smiled like the idiot he was.

And now they were kissing and Arthur wanted to rid the memory from his brain forever. That giddy feeling was long gone. It was true. Merlin had betrayed him and was now on Morgana's side. He turned away at the sound of delighted squeals and moans in disgust. They were two of a kind.

The knights of the round table had shrunk drastically: Elyan, Percival, and Leon were the only ones left. Lancelot had betrayed him and killed himself, and Gwaine deserted because he was loyal to Merlin and Merlin only. Even Percival seemed a bit sceptical of Arthur now that Merlin and Gwaine were gone.

He knew if they tried to attack Camelot, the knights were no match for their combined magic. They could recruit more sorcerers who'd been in hiding. His jaw tensed. It was time for a new law in Camelot, one stricter that his father's laws against magic.

He cursed the day Merlin came to Camelot and won him over with his goofiness. He cursed the day Morgana set eyes on him. And this very day. He'd prepare Camelot for the war that loomed in the future.

(A war that may never come, as his two foes were certainly not concerned with war at the moment).

He walked back to his horse. He had no sister. Morgana and Merlin were dead to him.

_There's a ghost in my mouth and it talks in my sleep_  
><em> Wraps itself around my tongue as it softly speaks<em>  
><em> Then it walks, then it walks, then it walks with my legs<em>  
><em> To fall, to fall, to fall, to fall, to fall, to fall<em>  
><em> To fall, to fall, to fall, to fall<em>  
><em> To fall, to fall at your feet<em>

Morgana broke the kiss, running her hands down Merlin's tattered shirt.

"Shall we get started on making the children now?" she asked innocently.

Merlin smirked, just as she did when mischievous, and turned her around. He pushed the sleeves of her nightdress down her shoulders, hand reaching to cup her breasts with his calloused hands. She let out a moan as he kissed her neck, her shoulders, her back, lips inching lower and lower with each newly revealed bit of skin. He softly recited a spell, healing the scratches he had caused with each kiss.

No more violence. No more slaps and kicks. Just no more.

_ There but for the grace of God go I_  
><em> And when you kiss me, I am happy enough<em>

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><p><strong>This is officially the end. Thank you for reading and reviewing!<br>**


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